


Why does this feel like a maze?

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Ai struggles with teenage love basically, EVENTUALLY ANYWAYS, Eventual Smut, I CANT TAG ALL THE RELATIONSHIP STUFF BUT IT'S SAMEZUKA OT4, M/M, Multi, eventually hhahha;;, polyamoury, ratings will change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-26 10:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5001583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nitori never really bothered with love or relationships.</p><p>Until he fell head over heels for no less than three of his closest friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Diary Ramblings.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO THE START OF THIS IS REALLY, REALLY WEIRD AND STRANGELY WRITTEN BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND,, stick with me ok I promise,,,
> 
> Ok but Samezuka ot4 are my faves

"Your love life had always been a mild thing, never flaring or causing trouble but still hanging around your head. You'd never stopped to consider what type of person you hoped to 'grow old' with, to the extent of never really having considered the gender preferences your heart beats to. No, your quiet, determined mind had always kept it's focuses pressing down on your work: swimming, grades, the usual stuff that worked better without romance being ground into it like a spice which overpowers and ruins the recipe.

Or at least, that had been true. Until quite recently, when your love interests, crushes and all the other mushy desires in your brain decide to surface suddenly, rising from un-cared for depths of your mind in a way that set chaos through your being. 

Nobody told you that after years of romantic neglect, you would spiral into the powerful jaws of love for no less than three people.

You're not even sure when it happened. Some time during the school year, you'd expect; both you and your crushes wore the same uniform, and it was a grim reminder of the constant time you spent with your unrequited puppy lovers. This meant that the most likely culprit of the 'where did you unwittingly fall in love' case was swim practice. You can only suspect that in that pool room, where your three romantic victims gathered to get shirtless and wet with you (and some others, you suppose) each day, you had finally slipped into the clutches of teenage romance. It had taken a while to notice all of the symptoms - the feelings grew slowly, developing from swelling pride whenever they praised your work to stumbling erratically over words and finding yourself growing redder and redder with each second of your conversations. Redder and redder...

...Red. Rin. The first crush, the first victim, the first of three poor souls who tormented your conscious so unknowingly it made you groan. Rin was someone you had always looked up to, from the day you met and he decided to beat up the bullies you'd mentioned in short conversation. Rin was your hero. And his colour was red, red, the colour of his eyes, always watching, taking note of your every move - and how to help you improve it. Observant and rather piercing - their ruby glare can be intimidating to a person who does not know the kind intentions which they usually - usually - held. Rin's beautiful eyes matched his hair - soft and red. His hair was lovely, and at a memorable length which fell upon strong shoulders. From there and further south, this man was a beauty, his body was taught with muscle and very obviously athletic - not buff, or overly muscly, but streamline. He glided through water so perfectly, and you could picture him flying through a beautiful blue ocean...  
...Blue, Sousuke. Strong, beautiful. Sousuke interests you as a person. On his exterior there's a tough, resilient person who commands an air of solemn, yet almost angry power. But, the thing is, he's nothing like that. Anyone who has spent a minute really looking into those blue eyes and really listening to his joking comments knows that Sousuke is a big softie. Despite his powerful and strong build (even with a bad shoulder, his well formed muscles are evidence enough that Sousuke could hold his own in most fights through blunt strength alone), the whale-shark was a very soft and caring person. His care and his concern had not ceased their assault on your cheeks - always flushing red - and it showed through the little things he did. Always being ready with a towel, always praising your times and hard efforts, and always providing you with a drink (if Rin didn't beat him to it, actually). It was always the same one, some sort of potent excercise supplement, flavoured with tangerine and clementine. And it's flavour matched its colour, the amount of time you've spent washing bright orange out of your plain towels was ridiculous. Such a bright, vibrant colour..  
..Orange. There it is, the final component of the Trinity of First Love. Momotarou, the ball of energy. Your current roommate and the wonderful person currently interrupting your damn writing ---"

"Momo, please, I'm trying to write in my diary..."

"N'aww, but Nitori-senpai! You never pay attention to me!"

You stare for a moment, eyes flicking to the unfinished record which you had begun earlier that evening (when you had finally, finally come to the conclusion you were in love with your three friends, and had thus plunged into writing an over-sensationalised record of it) and decided you could finish it another time. Besides, if you were to write about Momo now, you'd feel awkward - the sea otter was only on the other side of the room, lying on his bed with complaints about his boredom streaming from his soft lips like a flood.   
With another exhale you close your Diary and put away your stationary, flinging the book of secrets under your bed with a stern cast in Momo's direction. Not that your stern looks mean anything. You could never be mad at Momo, he's too cute.

"So Nitori-senpai, what were you writing about?"

Suddenly thinking back to the dragged out accounts of how damn in love you were, you stop dead in your tracks on the way to Momo. You kind of fully realise what's going on and who's talking to you, and when the penny fully drops your skin erupts red, casing Momo to blink a little.

"You okay there, senpai?"

"Yes Momo," you mumble, feeling embarrassed and guilty for the way you'd been ignoring this... this cutie. "I've just been wrapped up in something that's a bit stressful, and--"

Momo bolts up, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling a startled peep from your mouth. You feel odd in his grip, enjoying the closeness but being dangerously aware of how close his lips are.

"Senpai! You can talk to me about it!"

You laugh dryly but hug him quickly, ignoring the churning in your stomach as you try not to nuzzle his cheek.

"I'm sorry Momo, but I can't just now. Thank you though."


	2. Lost in Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nitori's focus goes down the drain when Rin starts talking to him.  
> Damnit, Nitori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this is so late ive been so unmotivated oml
> 
> i wrote the first bit when i was very tired but very spurred on by nice people so yeah it probably improves like 800% after the first bit im sorry forgive me god damnit 
> 
> have fun !!

The blending of your hair with the walls of the musky changing rooms you were so accustomed to was a familiar sight to all those who swam with you. Amidst the heady stench of chlorine and sweat, the colour grey could be seen stretched across every tile, every floor, every locker. Each shade differed somewhat but it was still the same to you. Charcoal floor, sulphur walls and your iron hair, all slowly blending together into a greyscale flow, running smoothly through people's vision until-

The running slate is broken by a splatter of blood; a falling leaf: a mop of red hair, damp and cascading past two round-cut rubies.

Swim team captain, former room-mate, eternal senpai and current participant in the war on your heart stood firmly in front of you, a look on his face that betrayed his outwardly fierce aura.

"Ai, we need to talk about your lack of effort today."

You know that his intentions were soft and caring but considering your awkward situation and the red of his eyes impressing their colour on your cheeks the more he stares you can't help but feel intimidated. one arm reaches across your stomach and grips the other. From across the room you catch a glimpse of Sousuke, who meets your eyes - a flush seeps into your face and you smile quietly. He nods back without returning the expression, and somewhere within you feel a pang of worry. He didn't smile back, does he dislike you looking at him? Are you annoying him? He's too soft and precious, you really hope you aren't annoying him and--

"Ai? You listening, kid?"

You're stopped abruptly by Rin, turning back to face him. "Oh, sorry, senpai."

"See what I mean? Your focus is out of the window today. With anyone else I'd be peeved, but it's you, and we all know you're.. well, determined. So somethings up. Momo mentioned you ere acting funny too. Spill."

If the words had come from anyone else, you'd have been on it and replying within moments. But, because this was Rin, you'd obviously gone and found something to let your mind explore. 'With anyone else I'd be peeved, but it's you,--'. You replayed it over and over. 'Because it's you,' 'I'd be peeved, but it's you.' It's intoxicating, thinking how he treat you differently to the others; how he had your mental state in mind.He cared about you, he was actively worrying about you. It was such a warm thought on your mind, the idea of his care and you daresay his affections being lain on you made a soft pink bleed out onto your skin like a bomb. This was how you were with Rin. With Sousuke, you would react and pick up on his beautiful body and his gentle affection and love. With Momo, the constant fawning and borderline obsession he had with you made you feel special; it appealed to your heart in every romantic sense. But this was Rin. Your love for Rin gravitated religiously around the fact that, despite his position as a senpai, a captain, a well respected student (to other students at least; he was rather hotheaded and honestly the teachers weren't always that fond of him), still cared deeply for you and thought of you as someone he was close to. He was well admired by girls, by other boys and by English teacher and old Captain Seijirou yet still found the time to care for you and make sure he was okay. You remember how badly you were bullied when you first arrived at Samezuka, and how Rin had thoughtlessly dealt with them. You were annoying, squeaky, doting and wildly irritating as an adoring room mate but he didn't mind. You found within Rin's kindness for you a kind of reassurance of your likableness of character, which scarcely came about in a school full of people who were tougher, stronger, better than you. He was one of the first people in the damn academy to like and protect you, and definitely the first to make it known and stand up to you. The shark had something about him which made it clear to all - Rin Matsuoka, toughest boy in the school, one of the most talented swimmers on the team, a hotheaded kid who studied abroad to better his ability, was not at all ashamed or embarrassed that he was protective and close to one of the weakest, anxious people there was. 

Your thoughts really are a maze.  
Rin had been talking for minutes now.

"... frankly, Sou's been worried about you today too, even if he wont show or mention of it. You're a great swimmer Ai. You had better not be thinking of quitting the team. I won't let you."

Azure clashes with carnelian as you stare into his eyes, wondering if he wanted a response. You were touched by what words you had picked up on, even if they were addressing a problem you didn't have. Internally you kick yourself for not listening to the captain. All his words were meaningful and you'f been entirely ignoring them for your own thoughts. 'You're such a creep,' you think to yourself, disgusted by your constant romanticism towards his slightest affections. And thus your thoughts trail - no, sprint - down the path of tangents and unfocused waffling. You don't notice you're shaking until you feel damp, warm eyes hugging your bare torso. Your concentration resurfaces from the fog of your mind and Rin is, oh no, he's hugging you close. It was rare for the redhead to do this, more so in a public changing room, and when he did you always reveled in it. Well, you had always reveled in it, until now. Now the contact just left you red and flustered. You gently hugged him back and tried to regain your senses. Your voice is barely a peep, "I'm fine, senpai. Don't you, or Sou, or Momo worry about me. I'll be okay." You force yourself to pull back from the emotionally constricting closeness - not missing the chance to quickly, quietly admire his taught skin (pulled quite nicely over his muscles, damn) - and break a grin. Without giving him the chance to respond properly, you scurry away to shower and get changed, ignoring the throb in your chest and trying to stifle your shallow, gasping breaths. Maybe you need your inhaler.

\--

The snores of a sleeping otter beneath your fell on your welcoming ears, bringing about a sense of ease as you opened up your diary for the first time since your little incident recently. You're tired from schoolwork and training and the lateness of the night but you have something you want to write. It's going to be short, you know, but it's been burning to be written every time you've held a pen. The soft yellow book is hardback, with the exterior being coating in a shallow yet squishy leatherette, pale yellow as your favourite colour and garnished with a soft blue ribbon to mark your page. It was a parting gift from your family when you left for school this year. When you had opened it and lovingly ghosted your fingers over the smooth paper and engraved the feeling on your memory, you had never expected the woes and whims of a certainly-not-straight, overwhelmed-by-love future self to slowly appear on the pages. You sigh, then tense as you check on Momo to see if he had been awakened. When you happily find he has not, and his adorable sleeping face still remains, you pick up your pen (pink, glittery gel, no less) and press it to the page.

_"23:54 - Recently I've been under the media-built illusion that love is a ecstasy drug, lifting you high and making everything brighter. Today, my body tensed, my breath fell short and not a word could leave my lips because of one person who, until recently, was someone I was unusually comfortable around. Love is not a great, deep thing; it is not a beautiful emotion that encourages growth of spirit - it is an apocalypse of the mind. It ravaged what's in it's way. It's typhoon of wind flings thoughts about, strews them here and there until tangible sentences and logical replies are a thing of legend. It floods the system, drowning reasoning and casual comfort around those people who trigger it, with the proof of this welling up on the physical body in pools of red. Love is an iron cage around a person's thoughts and speech, sometimes even being so arrogant as to ensare the body and freeze it in place._

_Note to future self: Never fall in love again."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go go lets go lets go dateko  
> nitori you're pissing me off just kiss him or smth ffs  
> im hoping to have Ai confess ~~~somehow~~~ in the next few chapters. to whom i dont know yet. mmmmm ideas are bubbling
> 
> ALSO THE NICE COMMENTS I GOT MADE MY WEEK SRSLY THANK U GUYS MUCH IM SO WORRIED ABOUT MY WRITING STYLE LIKE 24/7 U GUYS ARE THE BEST

**Author's Note:**

> i swear ill make this better some day


End file.
